White Legs and Other Horrors

Boy says his legs are so white, they make his socks look dingy.

Okay, so first of all, I'd like to apologize in advance for the "grody" content of this post. To my friend who nearly vomited in the car when finding a pizza hair (you know who you are), I suggest you turn your eyes and click your way as quickly as possible to someone else's blog. If you allow your eyes to wander beyond this point, you cannot say that you have not been warned.

So...Today Boy and I walked downtown to buy him some batteries for his camera, me some sunglasses (that tickle) and both of us a spot of lunch. I won't tell you where we went (that would be in bad taste...har har), but when I invented my own sandwich, the person at the counter said "Wow. You got yourself a sandwich there!". What he should've said was, "You got yourself a sandwich hair!". Witness the source of my dismay as we ate our lunches quietly along the river.

All right. On to the lighter side of the news...After Boy and I had finished eating (and throwing strategic pieces of food into the river, along with the forest that was drifting by on its long journey down from the snow-melting mountains), we decided to try to get some sun on our legs. The reason I initially took the photo was that boy spotted a spot on his leg and said "Oh sick! Is that au jus?" Angry gasp. "No! It's a new mole!". Here's a close-up picture. Not that you wanted one. For the record, new moles are not always a laughing matter, kids. Go see your dermatologist.

Well, after an hour and still no tan, we decided to walk back home. Boy said, "I thought I got a sunburn, but it was just my white legs blushing from being exposed to the world."

(Speaking of Other Horrors...My Elliot got voted off of American Idol. I am guilt-riddled and sad, as it is all my fault. I actually had to work and could not vote.)

Two Weeks Down...

I was doing all right until I saw this picture. Now I am missing my sister so bad. I'm sorry if these aren't the most flattering pictures of you, James, but everyone knows you're beautiful. They also know that there are few things better in life than seeing you laugh really, really hard. I miss you.

Officially Earning My Nerd Badge

Dear Elliott,

Will my 50 votes from work
be enough to save you
from the American boot?
Or will they send you packing
back to RVA
home of rockstars
and long lost friends?

Only time will tell.
Another 20 minutes
to be exact.

Love,

The faithful fan of underdogs

The champion of dark horses

That May 5th Thing

That's what my friend Bee kept calling the holiday we celebrated last Friday. I don't have any photos to post, so I am giving you my sloppy cartoon rendering of our Cinco de Mayo evening...complete with all the limbless, digitless characters we encountered...and my first gray hair for which I like to thank the last 3 months of my life. While intending to prove just the opposite, it occurs to me that, by taking the time to draw and post a picture, I am bearing witness to the fact that I don't exactly have what is ordinarily referred to as a life. I guess now is as good a time as any to confess that I spent the following evening having a Star Wars marathon with my other friend Bee from NJ. Heck, I'm not gonna lie. It was all a lot of fun.

Sometimes in Summertimes

A Boy and his ice cream (before the dental work that renders ice cream so not a treat)

One of my favorite things about being a Missoulian, and more specifically, a Montagnian, has to be summer walks along the river that usually end in ice cream consumption. Why? Well...

Because sometimes you can stop and read a book along the way, provided your favorite haunt has not been seized by make-out couples and bikini-clad melanoma-seekers, forcing you to seek reading refuge in the red-ant swamp with the ravenous crows.

Because sometimes a hippie's dog fetches a stick as wide as the wide trail itself, causing a sizable traffic jam.

Because sometimes your friend's incredibly handsome, famous, and amazing dog treats you to a pinecone dance.

Because sometimes you get to see a little pig in a dog park.

Because sometimes you get a lecture from a wise old man about not photographing nature, lest you should steal the soul of any river flies who traipse innocently across your camera's field of vision.

Because sometimes you get chased by giant hobbled river rats...And other times you only see them swimming furiously up the ditch.

Because sometimes you catch a fellow tenant washing their dishes in the river.

Because sometimes you run into a local celebrity who pauses their workout just to tell you how much they are admiring your ice cream...all the while running up and down in place...And other times you run over your Latin professor, who thankfully doesn't remember you, because you dropped out of his class after only 3 days.

Because sometimes you venture back in time to high school P.E. and return with newfound appreciation for the person you have become...for the narrow escape you made from the person you were.

Because sometimes your ice cream mixer has an evil twin, and you can't remember who is who.

Because sometimes your ice cream clerk finds the "hypercolor" mood ring on your limited edition Ben & Jerry's so fascinating that he rubs his thumb against the carton until you have soft serve.

Because sometimes you follow up your ice cream trek with a trip to Dairy Queen...for a slightly raw long dog, causing you to cite as fact what you have always suspected: Hot Eats blow big time. They're half-off in the giveaway bin.

Anyone else care to chime in?

Sister Golden Hair

I decided at the last minute to make #1 Sister a CD before she flew off, and here's what came out. All the songs that remind me of her...the songs she likes, the songs with memories, the songs that say I love her, the songs that make us lachen...that I could fit on one disc. A necessarily very incomplete list, but I hear it made her smile.

























Sister Golden Hair.........America
Brown Eyed Girl.........Van Morrison
Born In The U.S.A.........Bruce Springsteen
The Promise.........When in Rome
Time After Time.........Cyndi Lauper
You Give Love A Band-Aid (Bad Name).........Bon Jovi
Cruel Summer.........Bananarama
Wicked Game.........Chris Isaak
Tom's Diner..........Suzanne Vega & D.N.A.
Sunglasses At Night.........Corey Hart
Say You, Say Me.........Lionel Richie
Jack and Diane.........John Mellencamp
Everyday.........Buddy Holly
Jamie.........Eddie Holland
Have I Told You Lately.........Rod Stewart
You Decorated My Life.........Kenny Rogers
You're My Best Friend.........Queen
I'll Be There.........Jackson 5
Why Don't You Write Me.........Simon & Garfunkel
I Believe In You.........Don Williams
On the Road Again.........Willie Nelson
18 Räder und ein Dutzend Rosen.........Sammy's Saloon

I can't wait for her to teach the songs to her students in St. Petersburg...which apparently, are mostly African. That makes it doubly exciting for me if I ever get to go back to Africa! I also can't wait to hear if she plays our childhood "radio shows" that Boy put on CD for her students as well. They'll be tellin' North Dakotee-an jokes in no time!