Wallowing

I had a breakfast date with a newfound friend this morning. He stood me up and left this note in his place: Got [up] early, left to meet destiny. I'll stop by on way back through...C. I'm going to miss him. Thanks for the memories, C. Be safe.

On a similar note, here's a conversation Boy and I had today:

(talking about a "hot ticket")
Boy: I wish I weren't just a lukewarm ticket.
Me: You're not a lukewarm ticket!
Boy: Yes I am.
Me: At least you're a ticket. I'm just a bus station.
Boy: What?
Me: People come and go but they never stay.
Boy: At least they come. I'm an abandoned train station. People stop by to point and laugh.
Me: No. People go to abandoned train stations for adventuring. You never know what you'll find.

Well, that's enough self pity for now. I'm going to drown my sorrows in some Arby's, courtesy of Tot. Life is good.

A Fairy Tale for the Digitally Challenged

I've just spent the last hour and a half shopping online for digital cameras. I think my big little head is going to burst. Pesky customer reviews. Just when you think you've nailed the one, some disgruntled user writes "Took louzy pictures of my faverit bar cant even see the bartenders face broke the first time i dropped it crap". Honestly, how's a girl to know who to trust those priceless memories to? Here's how I think it should go down:

Friendly, intelligent, but not too friendly and intelligent salesfellow:
Now, just relax and tell me what it is that you're looking for.
Me:
mumble mumble ultra-portable mumble mumble 4MP mumble mumble
F.i.b.n.t.f.a.i.s.:
Ah yes. I believe we have exactly what you're looking for over here. [Removes gold Wonka Bar wrapper from camera]. She'll make all your dreams come true--and capture each one for all high resolution eternity. [Winks and vanishes--but not before holding my hand through the mind-boggling maze of accessories].
THE END

And now I shall let my weary head find solace in a few daily Mad Libs (a "few" because I have 24 days to catch up on)...

"'Music is the soul of the snowball in Hell,' said Pluto. 'Music is music is music,' said rap noggin I.B. Cool. These two wet 'n wild philosophers were right on! When the beat is right, who among us hasn't felt the sparse urge to snap his/her dangerous curves, stomp his/her tree trunk legs, or break out in a wiley chuckle?" January 3

"Ballet companies are springing up like pit stains all over the country. Ballet is a form of dance in which male and female hula dancers tell a story through movement of their arms and ingrown hairs to supple music. Two of the best-known ballets are 'Earwig Lake' and 'Gettin' Jiggy Beauty'." January 27

Well, time to go fill out my parts of speech for tomorrow's hidden Mad Libs (and live happily ever after)...

Oscar Countdown

OSCAR.com - 77th Annual Academy Awards - Nominees: Nominee List
Academy Award nominations were announced today. I've seen 2 whole movies from the list! (What? No nominations for Shall We Dance ?) Now, in the spirit of things, the Mad Libs for today from my new Daily Mad Libs calendar that #1 Sister presented me with this evening:


THE OSCARS

"Thank you, ladies and nappy wiglets. I'm so nervous. My Montagnes melody is beating a skid-marked tighty whitey a minute. I didn't prepare a coffee breath. I never expected to win this faux Oscar." January 25

Hope Clint Eastwood doesn't sue me for stealing his speech. Oh well. Now the party planning begins...

A Bad Case of Death

Boy howdy, am I sick. My favorite grocery store was selling bananas for $0.10/lb and I thought, "Hey...I should make me some banana chips". Well, 2 days and 15 lbs (of bananas--though probably excess weight as well) later, my Grandma says I'm going to explode. I think she's right. But just to be sure, I looked it up in my Total Nutrition book. Apparently, potassium "promotes transmission of nerve impulses and proper muscle contraction" and is needed for "proper metabolism". So basically, an overdose should give me the lightning quick reflexes (and metabolism) of say...Catwoman...or catwoman with a bad case of "nausea, diarrhea, cardiac arrhythmia and [death]". Man, nothin's worse than a bad case of death...

I just had an hour long instant message chat with Tot--who has most recently earned the nicknames Wonderfoo and Gushy--She's in love, crazy girl. Went away for a few days and came back with a boyfriend. For those of you out there who would rather read about the wintry amours of a lovesick Tot than bloat-bellied catwomen with bad cases of death, I will request to post a link. This is assuming, of course, that there is anyone out there with pity--or misfortune--enough to actually read this. Sorry folks, it's all I got.

Incidentally, my friend K. informed me this evening that she also has acquired a boyfriend since our last visit. Firmly believing that all bad things come in 3's, I suspect Pal to be dropping the bomb any day now...

Thwarted Plans

So my friend K. and I were supposed to go to see Lord of the Dance tonight but all the "cheap" ($25) tickets were sold out. Somehow we just couldn't justify spending $40 + to see and hear the magic that is an army of Irish limbs flailing in unison. Maybe if Lord Flatley himself were the flailer. He's the real McCoy...or should I say O'Coy? Anyway, I can always take solace in the fact that American Idol IV premieres tonight. And as for my dancing fix, Boy, #1 Sister and I did go to see Shall We Dance at the cheapseats last week...

#1 Sister and I signed up to take a digital filmmaking class but it was cancelled for lack of interest ('though not on our part, it should be noted). In an attempt to make up for our loss, Boy and I went to the library and checked out a whole lotta books on the subject. So far it's just not the same--'though I am getting rather in to this 1960's knit/crochet design book that I found...Soon I will translate my book knowledge into designing some sweet costumes for the Bargain Barbies I bought at the Goodwill today. For the record, #1 Sister and I are collecting fake Barbies for our eventual film project, which somehow doesn't seem to help in the case against my nerdiness. Ah well...

Laughter (at my expense) is the best medicine

Work went well, but I am happy to be off for another 5 days and back to my knitting and playing. Just yesterday I was reading about how God stretches and builds your character in order to prepare you for the assignment He has in store for you. I began to get a little nervous because I realized that one of the things I cherish most and that I am being asked to sacrifice with increasing frequency is my privacy. There were times at work this weekend when I couldn't go to the bathroom or take a bite without somebody hunting me down. I began to hate the sound of my own name and to rejoice in the temporary escape that shovelling snow provided.

At the same time, I was so discouraged about the various tragedies that presented themselves in the lives around me. I saw a man with his head in his hands cry tears that went unheard and unseen by a deaf wife with her back turned. I wanted so much to reach inside of him and pull out the sickness, pain, fear and sorrow, but I was powerless to help. I spent most of the afternoon knitting in silence with his wife. When I had come to the end of my project, a pair of fingerless gloves, I pulled it off the needles to display. "Oh no! This one's much longer"..."No, look! You knit two right hands". The laughter that followed in that moment and each time the story was repeated was like a little miracle. Yeah, so I was the butt of many a joke. The important thing is that the proverbial best medicine was on tap for a day and the other glove? Well, it's coming along.

Update: I'll be posting a picture of my new gloves...and for anyone who was concerned, I made it just fine without the army of candy hearts.

Candy Hearts: The Working Girl's Friend

Someone tell me how it got to be 8:00pm! It seems like I was just crossing the bridge at the unholy hour of 8:45 am (unholy because it was 15 degrees) on the way to a work meeting and watching my friend Bob drive by and laugh at my frozen hair and slipping footsteps. Well, I'm heading off for another 48 hours of work. I think it's going to take an army of candy hearts to pull me through this one. Ah summer, how I long for thee.

Lessons learned in the Twilight Zone:

(1) "You'll never make the grade at anything by playing it safe".
(2) Jack Klugman's a dollie.

My very first blog post

So I really don't have a clue what I'm doing here yet. I guess I'm a little behind the times. It's okay. I'm from Montana. I'll write more when I figure things out. For now I have more urgent duties that require my attention...namely, a Twilight Zone marathon.

Sweet Party

Hooray! You found me! If you are reading this, it means you have received your party invitation and are thinking about coming, or you are so terribly bored that you have read to the bitter end of my blog. Either way, I'm very excited.

So...not that you need it...but here's a little bit of why behind the party:

If you have a few minutes, read this story. It really inspired me. If you're not into reading online (and I don't blame you), you can listen to the author himself (if you can take it) reading the condensed version on this radio broadcast. Just follow the link (hopefully), let it load, and fast forward to 21:15 minutes into the show.

Did you get it? Well, anyway...This year, God has really taught me to look at life and at Him with the wonder of a child. I guess that's what I really hope to celebrate in coming together: the life and love and freedom and simplicity that began, for us, at Christmas. This year, I hope it hits each of us with all the wonder of children seeing something for the first time. Take a look around you. Chances are, you don't have to look too far to find wonder. In a friend. In nature. And then of course, there's all the things we can't even see. We are truly blessed children. Can we celebrate that? Can we be like children heading off to the birthday party of The Greatest Child ever? I'm excited.

A little about the how:

If you find yourself stressing out about making a gift or wondering what 'fancyish' is...don't! Nothing about this party should in any way be stressful! Trust it coming from me, who stresses out easily. In an attempt to cushion any well-worn party nerves...

Remember that your homemade gift can be ANYTHING. Anything that owes at least some part of its existence to you, and uses up supplies you already have. The beauty of this exchange is that no spending is allowed, and we all have the same amount of time to make something. Bake, write, build, compute, copy, make noise, draw, paint, stitch, compile, burn, embellish, manipulate, photograph, print, cut, paste...and do anything else I've forgotten. If you lack supplies, come raid my place. If you lack ideas, you're welcome to raid my brain or my favorite project sites online...but I suspect you might have more fun if you don't (my brain is a messy, messy place...as is my computer)! All the same...we all know I'm always up for a project day!

Keep in mind that this is for a gift swap of some (as yet undetermined) kind. I wouldn't recommend pouring all of your heart and soul into it. For one thing, you will need it to give to the Birthday Child. And for another, watching your precious gift get fought over or rejected in white elephant style might be too much to bear. (While wanting to be careful of trivializing...An interesting thought occurs to me on how God must have felt releasing His precious gift to the hands of potential rejectors...) Rest assured that I have a team of highly skeptical gift openers working round the clock to make this as painless as possible. As well as a team of very easily wowed and forever encouraging friends. I'm open to suggestions about the exchange too. Maybe we can just draw names and leave it at that. Or we can use them as game prizes or speed-angeling prizes. If you're still worried, then I say go for edible or ridiculous, because everyone loves to eat and laugh.

As far as the meaning of fancyish goes, I say whatever makes you feel childlike and partyish is great. (I know. My adjectives are unforgivable.) In keeping with the child's birthday theme, I like to imagine 6 year old versions of ourselves stumbling into our current closets (or mine, if you want to wear a horse head all night) and playing dress up. Of course, I also know how camera happy you all are (and me too), so...we'll see if vanity wins. It's probably a good idea to dress with some warmth in mind, because there may be some speed-angeling involved. What is speed-angeling, dare you ask? Well, it is the new Olympic sport that Bee and I invented, in which you hit the ground flying...making as many snow angels as possible before the snow creeps in and frostbites you. Not recommended in party dresses and tuxes. Though that would for sure make a great picture and guarantee you a prize.

Okay, that's it. Feel free to contribute any thoughts. Chances are...I'm preaching to the proverbial choir when I worry about people stressing. You're probably all very laid-back, and on top of your party game!

I really hope you can come. Please feel free to invite a friend to join you. Just be sure to warn them that it can get pretty cozy in my apartment!

Thanks for dropping by. Take care and Happy Holidays!