Breaking the Silence

Well, well. It seems it might be time to dust my blog and clear up some misconception bunnies that have gathered under the bed. Wow. That may be a new low in stupid expression use.

First of all...you'll be happy to know that I did not waste my fortune on a nap decision. As it turns out, my mind is never made-the-heck-up. And, as per my jinx and Sir Lance's prediction, I did need to use it on an unforeseen and important decision. Can we all spit out a collective "phew"?

Secondly...au contraire mes frères...it is quite possible for me to resemble a dirty horse pooping, or any components thereof. As a matter of fact, I set about to prove this very point with a ridiculous photo of a chocolate-faced me enjoying a fudgesicle way too much, while sporting my "Single and Loving It" bib with a teddy bear on it. I regret to say that, in my pursuit, I stumbled upon some secret photos of myself that make dirty horses pooping look like a Niagara Falls postcard. Let me just say that the only person on the planet who was granted the privilege of seeing them had to sit down when the laughter and shock became too much. But enough about that...

Thirdly...where was I...Oh yes. Despite rumors to the contrary, I so did not eat that bird! I placed him safely back in his swimming hole. I may have had a few more bites, and yes, I may have caught a stray eye or two, but shucks if anyone can call that murder.

Okay...so that should do for now. So, Friday may be anti-dirty-horse-poo day, but summer Saturdays are all about the Outdoor Cinema. Hooray! It should not take you long to discover that this photo is not from our Outdoor Cinema, but from a showing of The Breakfast Club in a parking lot in Fremont, Seattle. The feature film was preceded by this little gem of an educational film, earnestly titled, How To Be Popular. Perhaps I should have taken notes.

Next week's Outdoor Cinema is going to be locally produced short films, which is conjuring up some beautiful images in my head right now. Has anyone else seen that Gilmore Girls? Anywho...Sorry, my dear friend B., but it simply has to be better than that lets-all-go-jump-off-the-nearest-bridge fest, Whale Rider.

Until next time, my friendlies...S., I love you too...and I'm so glad to see you here on blogger.

Silent Birds and Ancient Wisdom

Sleep is a lost cause these days. So is eating it seems. And, it follows, so is trying to look like anything that does not resemble poo, dirt, or a horse. If the week continues as it has begun, I shall be a dirty horse pooping by Friday. Just in time for the weekend fun.

In one of my heroic attempts at ingestion, I came across a little bird in my soup. He said nothing. My fortune, however, said that I could make a decision with confidence. Wonder of wonders! I stand at the sugary threshold of ancient wisdom and realize that, for perhaps the first time in my life, I have nary a weighty decision to make. Crap. I just jinxed myself. Okay, I am off to take a nap with confidence. Don't even try to talk me out of it. My mind is made-the heck-UP!

White Legs and Other Horrors

Boy says his legs are so white, they make his socks look dingy.

Okay, so first of all, I'd like to apologize in advance for the "grody" content of this post. To my friend who nearly vomited in the car when finding a pizza hair (you know who you are), I suggest you turn your eyes and click your way as quickly as possible to someone else's blog. If you allow your eyes to wander beyond this point, you cannot say that you have not been warned.

So...Today Boy and I walked downtown to buy him some batteries for his camera, me some sunglasses (that tickle) and both of us a spot of lunch. I won't tell you where we went (that would be in bad taste...har har), but when I invented my own sandwich, the person at the counter said "Wow. You got yourself a sandwich there!". What he should've said was, "You got yourself a sandwich hair!". Witness the source of my dismay as we ate our lunches quietly along the river.

All right. On to the lighter side of the news...After Boy and I had finished eating (and throwing strategic pieces of food into the river, along with the forest that was drifting by on its long journey down from the snow-melting mountains), we decided to try to get some sun on our legs. The reason I initially took the photo was that boy spotted a spot on his leg and said "Oh sick! Is that au jus?" Angry gasp. "No! It's a new mole!". Here's a close-up picture. Not that you wanted one. For the record, new moles are not always a laughing matter, kids. Go see your dermatologist.

Well, after an hour and still no tan, we decided to walk back home. Boy said, "I thought I got a sunburn, but it was just my white legs blushing from being exposed to the world."

(Speaking of Other Horrors...My Elliot got voted off of American Idol. I am guilt-riddled and sad, as it is all my fault. I actually had to work and could not vote.)

Two Weeks Down...

I was doing all right until I saw this picture. Now I am missing my sister so bad. I'm sorry if these aren't the most flattering pictures of you, James, but everyone knows you're beautiful. They also know that there are few things better in life than seeing you laugh really, really hard. I miss you.

Officially Earning My Nerd Badge

Dear Elliott,

Will my 50 votes from work
be enough to save you
from the American boot?
Or will they send you packing
back to RVA
home of rockstars
and long lost friends?

Only time will tell.
Another 20 minutes
to be exact.

Love,

The faithful fan of underdogs

The champion of dark horses

That May 5th Thing

That's what my friend Bee kept calling the holiday we celebrated last Friday. I don't have any photos to post, so I am giving you my sloppy cartoon rendering of our Cinco de Mayo evening...complete with all the limbless, digitless characters we encountered...and my first gray hair for which I like to thank the last 3 months of my life. While intending to prove just the opposite, it occurs to me that, by taking the time to draw and post a picture, I am bearing witness to the fact that I don't exactly have what is ordinarily referred to as a life. I guess now is as good a time as any to confess that I spent the following evening having a Star Wars marathon with my other friend Bee from NJ. Heck, I'm not gonna lie. It was all a lot of fun.

Sometimes in Summertimes

A Boy and his ice cream (before the dental work that renders ice cream so not a treat)

One of my favorite things about being a Missoulian, and more specifically, a Montagnian, has to be summer walks along the river that usually end in ice cream consumption. Why? Well...

Because sometimes you can stop and read a book along the way, provided your favorite haunt has not been seized by make-out couples and bikini-clad melanoma-seekers, forcing you to seek reading refuge in the red-ant swamp with the ravenous crows.

Because sometimes a hippie's dog fetches a stick as wide as the wide trail itself, causing a sizable traffic jam.

Because sometimes your friend's incredibly handsome, famous, and amazing dog treats you to a pinecone dance.

Because sometimes you get to see a little pig in a dog park.

Because sometimes you get a lecture from a wise old man about not photographing nature, lest you should steal the soul of any river flies who traipse innocently across your camera's field of vision.

Because sometimes you get chased by giant hobbled river rats...And other times you only see them swimming furiously up the ditch.

Because sometimes you catch a fellow tenant washing their dishes in the river.

Because sometimes you run into a local celebrity who pauses their workout just to tell you how much they are admiring your ice cream...all the while running up and down in place...And other times you run over your Latin professor, who thankfully doesn't remember you, because you dropped out of his class after only 3 days.

Because sometimes you venture back in time to high school P.E. and return with newfound appreciation for the person you have become...for the narrow escape you made from the person you were.

Because sometimes your ice cream mixer has an evil twin, and you can't remember who is who.

Because sometimes your ice cream clerk finds the "hypercolor" mood ring on your limited edition Ben & Jerry's so fascinating that he rubs his thumb against the carton until you have soft serve.

Because sometimes you follow up your ice cream trek with a trip to Dairy Queen...for a slightly raw long dog, causing you to cite as fact what you have always suspected: Hot Eats blow big time. They're half-off in the giveaway bin.

Anyone else care to chime in?

Sister Golden Hair

I decided at the last minute to make #1 Sister a CD before she flew off, and here's what came out. All the songs that remind me of her...the songs she likes, the songs with memories, the songs that say I love her, the songs that make us lachen...that I could fit on one disc. A necessarily very incomplete list, but I hear it made her smile.

























Sister Golden Hair.........America
Brown Eyed Girl.........Van Morrison
Born In The U.S.A.........Bruce Springsteen
The Promise.........When in Rome
Time After Time.........Cyndi Lauper
You Give Love A Band-Aid (Bad Name).........Bon Jovi
Cruel Summer.........Bananarama
Wicked Game.........Chris Isaak
Tom's Diner..........Suzanne Vega & D.N.A.
Sunglasses At Night.........Corey Hart
Say You, Say Me.........Lionel Richie
Jack and Diane.........John Mellencamp
Everyday.........Buddy Holly
Jamie.........Eddie Holland
Have I Told You Lately.........Rod Stewart
You Decorated My Life.........Kenny Rogers
You're My Best Friend.........Queen
I'll Be There.........Jackson 5
Why Don't You Write Me.........Simon & Garfunkel
I Believe In You.........Don Williams
On the Road Again.........Willie Nelson
18 Räder und ein Dutzend Rosen.........Sammy's Saloon

I can't wait for her to teach the songs to her students in St. Petersburg...which apparently, are mostly African. That makes it doubly exciting for me if I ever get to go back to Africa! I also can't wait to hear if she plays our childhood "radio shows" that Boy put on CD for her students as well. They'll be tellin' North Dakotee-an jokes in no time!

40 Days

Footprints in the wilderness.

All right, so after a sleepless night of listening to Bernice making muffins and getting her nails caught in the "dough", I decided it was high time for a clippin'. Here's a little shred of wisdom from me to you: True love is clipping someone else's toenails. I loved someone enough to swallow their gum for them once when they had a panic attack of the stale-gum-and-no-garbage-in-sight variety. But I never ventured to cut anyone's toenails. Until now. I am happy to report that I successfully clipped all of Bernice's kneading nails...even the tricky non-digits in the back.

So... an update on the passing of time and my top 10 list. In addition to the clippin'...I also pulled a book down from the top shelf, looked at sweater patterns in knitting magazines, checked my skymiles balance, and started organizing my music library in itunes. And the fact that I am writing about it amounts to somewhat of a blog revival, so I'm aces high today I'd say.

The sad news of the day is that Rockman Gary is no longer with us. I took a walk up the Rattlesnake with my mom today in hopes of finding him there. I can only gather that he suffered a rather crushing winter season himself. Or perhaps other eager beaver dogs like our Stella here, clumsily dismembered him in their pursuit of refreshment. The good news is that, to the best of my knowledge, Gary's namesake is still alive and well. Only a trip to the up-and-coming farmer's market will verify.

Now...I may have missed seeing my rockfriend/brother-in-law, but I did not leave the wilderness empty-handed (or headed). Mr. Tick here decided that he would also like to try making muffins...on my head.

Luckily I caught him before his nails got tangled in the dough. I do not love Mr. Tick. I would not clip his toenails. I would not even swallow his gum. I just had Boy help me seal him in a Ziploc, deliver a crushing blow with a wooden spoon, and deposit him in the trash outside. Just when I think I really can become a nun, a little bug appears and sends me dancing and screaming in search of the nearest male. I guess what I need is a convent in a skyscraper.

Funniest thing. I no sooner finished typing when Bernice spied a spider and went a-hunting. Maybe there's something to that whole cat-lady thing. Oh, heaven help me. My options are not looking good.

To Russia With Love

#1 Sister flapped her wings and landed in Russia. I miss her already. Only 333 days or so to go. I am praying for each one. Meanwhile...

Top 10 Ways to Speed My Sister's Return

1o.Learn to drive a stick shift.
9. Knit her a sweater.
8. Read through her bookshelf top to bottom.
7. Cut Bernice's toenails.
6. Write a book, a screenplay...a letter.
5. Learn to play Anji à la Paul.
4. Get organized.
3. Cut my hair and wait for it to grow back.
2. Revive my blog.
1. Find a way to visit her.

Well, of course there's a million more, but I think the procrastination of the bottom 9 should be enough to keep me sufficiently preoccupied and therefore surprised at her speedy return. Meanwhile, I shall gratefully accompany all of the activities & non-activities of my life with this soundtrack (Warning: Audiolink for those of you in public places). Just in time to help me look up in this winter of constant good-byes.

Deep Thoughts VI and VII: When It Rains...

My life was a closed book, left in the rain, and all the pages were stuck together.

Sometimes you have to drown inside before you can find out just how deep you are.

Deep Thoughts V

Mini-Misty Garden Scarf

Oh merciful heavens...It's been over a month since I've posted. Actually, I don't think you can really count a wordy sigh as a post, so it's been...oh gosh...ages. Well, brace yourselves (you random selves who have stumbled here by accident...you faithful selves who still pop in...or you lucky, soon-to-be rewarded selves who came in pursuit of the knitted good...), I have a nice boring little project-post to offer.

Behold. The Misty Garden Scarf. It's from the Scarf Style book. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this picture, but heck...it could be me.

Except that this is me. And my mini Misty Garden Scarf for Wonderboss. To be technical, it's mini because I changed the feather and fan pattern [k2tog] 3 times, [yo, k1] 6 times, [k2 tog] 3 times to [k2tog] 2 times, [yo,k1] 4 times, [k2tog] 2 times in order to make the scarf narrower. I think the yarn I used was bulkier than the original. Or maybe I just don't like fat-bottomed scarves who make the rockin' world go 'round. Hard to say.

This picture is silly. I had to contort in the bathroom at work to get the shot. It looks like, if you could see my upturned head, my face would look like the freaky mannequin in Chico's. And something about it says Gloria Vanderbilt neck. I don't know why. I think because I'm crazy. I think when we are old and turkey-necked, LaFalda and I will look at this and say "I'll take that neck". Turkey necks run in our family. But you didn't hear it from me.

Here's the pattern up close. I think the pattern looks better when it is done in full...not mini. I guess Misty Gardens need room to grow.

All right. It's Idol time. Consider yourself spared from any further knitting nonsensicals.

Sigh Me an Earthquake

This is by far the most confusing time of my life...I can sense I'm on the verge of something, and I can tell God is making me who I need to be for whatever that something is...But the not-knowing-what is absolutely killing me. He may be weaving something upstairs, but heck if all I don't see is a large tangly web.

The End of Myself

Day 6-ish: Sunday!

Another perfect day...I was a little nervous about playing and singing in the church service(s) (okay...more than a little), but today's devotional was exactly for me...which is why I volunteered to lead it at the last second. Funny that that kind of thing doesn't scare me--Maybe I just didn't have time to fear or had my mind set to other things. Or maybe I was so encouraged by the words I read that I just didn't care.

The reading for today was about being in dead-end situations. These are the situations God puts us in so He can shine. I talked about how this trip in all its preparations and in the guitar playing, etc...had really brought me to the end of myself. There were times when there was absolutely no way I could come up with the necessary funds. And then there are days like today when there seems to be no way that I can play for a crowd of people--to do what I am called upon to do. God loves it when we come to the end of ourselves though--I think He must sit up there and say "Finally! I was wondering how long it would take you!". 27 years, apparently. God wants to empty us out so He can fill us up. This is only the beginning of the "impossible" things...the "dead-ends"...He has called me to.

Less of me and more of Him. Every day.

Hot, Quiet Day

Enjoying Freez-Its in the shade of the new tabernacle!

(Day Five-ish, continued)

The day went by quickly...even though we really didn't do much...just singing, visiting, hiding out from the rain, eating...Several of the women from our team tried carrying buckets of water on their heads to the amusement of the local women.

Lunch was bacon, tomato, cucumber, butter and cheese self-assembled sandwiches. They also made fresh squeezed orange juice. I went for a refill--or what I thought was a refill. I took one big gulp and discovered I had mistaken Mazoe for OJ. Mazoe is this concentrated syrup that you are supposed to dilute with 3-4 parts water. So...straight up...pretty nasty.

Several people ran into town to buy Freez-Its, which are basically like chubby Otter Pops. People go nuts for them on days like today...which, by the way, was unbel-eeeee-vably hot! Dripping sweat in the shade. I hid out in the truck with Eva and Maggie for a while and practiced my guitar while Cookie and Jennifer role-played various HIV testing scenarios. Cookie cracks me up...I thought I remembered her as being the straight man to Jim's crazy antics. But I see now that they are both quite crazy. So much fun. And so loved by the people here. Christy is a doll too. She says such adult things but gets soooo excited over candy and her bicycle (and huckleberry jam).

Well...I guess that's it...except to say that I do miss the comfort of home a little, and my family and Rocky and Kathy a lot more. I will be excited to go home. Okay. Miss you...Good Night.

The Greats

Gerald and Tawanda dance to the "Driv-ah" song. I defy anyone to see this (or the video!) and not love life.

Day Five-ish: Saturday

Earlier (very early) in the day, we discussed what our plan would be for the Sunday service. I got put in charge of worship...but then I volunteered to go with Jim to the separate service that he was invited to preach at...so probably will be worship leading in some capacity at both services. Very scary...but there is comfort in knowing it's what I'm supposed to do, and that anything I do will be well received. I'm actually more scared of playing in front of the team than the nationals.

Tawanda and Gerald know most of our worship songs, and taught us a bunch of Shona/Ndebele songs and dances today as well. They are both really talented. I guess Gerald is in a rock worship band called Walking on Water...and Tawanda is "learning" to play guitar (much better than me) and sings really well. He has volunteered Gerald to teach me and said we would all play together. I've been letting him play my guitar too. So tempting to give it away with all the trouble I had getting it here!

(Right: Gerald teaches us a song. If I could find a way to bottle up what this guy has and spread it around, the world would be a sweeter place. His laugh alone, I am convinced, could turn it upside down. How I miss these guys!)

Zhup...BONG!

It took me like 7 shots to get that one bolt of lightning...and it wasn't even a big one!

Day Five-ish: Saturday

The storm is dying down now. Darn it. Boy did we pray for rain! The only trouble is that the roof on our tabernacle was finished today and it started to fly off in the last thunderstorm (of the day). That was a fun storm too. We had been sitting with some of the nationals, exchanging songs...when a storm came up and everyone scattered. The locals all disappeared to their homes and the rest of us, including Ephraim, Mr. C? and the ACTS crew all crowded into the ACTS Overland truck. It was such a moment!...So of course my camera quit working...But I got some video, etc..We danced to the funny "driv-ah" (driver) song (Row the Boat, Mix it Up, Sadza! Sadza!, etc...Dennis adding the garden tool dances to everyone's delight)--It was so cute. We passed around a giant bag of candy, read Laffy Taffy jokes, played concentration, the Hua (for lack of a better description...think karate chops) game, and Zhup...Bong! (Zhup passes it on and Bong reverses it). Here's a demonstration...




So yeah. That was fun.

Thundering Distractions

Day Five-ish (Finally!): Saturday

Wow. Right now Cathy and I are sheltering ourselves in our tent during the biggest thunder/rain/lightning storm. I love it...but it's even a little frightening for me! The whole tent swaying. The ground shaking. A tent flap that won't zip and bursts of sand flying in.

Tomorrow morning, Cathy has to preach a mini-sermon and I have to sing and play guitar. We are both nervous...I like having the storm to worry about instead. Besides...what cooler way to die than being struck by lightning in Zimbabwe? Well, I guess dying for a cause is "cooler"...but this is for a cause...Anyway...My mind is doing its best to distract itself.

Polaroids, Worship and Shower Refusal

My giggling Polaroid Girls

(Day Four-ish...The End!)

In another lull...from construction and braid-watching, I found 3 little girls hiding by a tree who let me take their picture. I took a Polaroid of them and they of me for them to keep. They were so delighted. They kept finding me and just giggled--and would not let go of their photos. Then the pastor's son asked me to take some photos of him. All so sweet.

Lunch of steak, green beans and squash. Second half of framing for tabernacle. It was so hot today. And we were working in the hottest part. I'm guessing it was upper 90's-100. Even the locals say it's way hot. But they still wear long sleeve shirts and pants, etc..(men). The snappy dresser from the ACTS crew even said it was unbearable. I'm not sure what part they come from--but they all speak very proper English, and snappy dresser even played worship songs on guitar tonight. (Pictured here, singing.) A little humbling since I had just bumbled my way through--not really...you can't really be humbled when you know you're lousy! It was just really cool--to hear songs we sing coming out from behind the truck.




Ephraim, a little 23 year old we befriended as soon as we arrived in Bulawayo, plays too. Beautiful. Maybe I will get a chance to learn from them. (That's Ephraim the Brave climbing up on the frame of the tabernacle!)


Everyone but me took showers tonight. I had a chance at the very end...but I was chicken. It was pitch black out except for the lantern on a rock by the shower which is under the tree. And all the giant beetles come out at night.

Well...off to bed now! Everyone else is asleep. Snoring.

Construction, School and Hair

Cathy models her new hair-do.

(Day Four-ish...still)

So...today everyone woke up (and woke me and Cathy up) around 5:30. I haven't noticed any jet lag...Just plain tired-ness. Cathy and I "showered" in the tent with Wet Ones (Instructions: #1: Wipe.) Then an awesome breakfast of french toast, Cookie's cinnamon rolls, bacon-y stuff and beans. I was full. Eva led devotions. And Dennis too, since we were a day behind. We prayed. Our foreman, Dean, arrived 8-ish and we began the tabernacle work.

When there was a lull (because something needed to be welded or torched or something...which took some finding in town and extra work--a miracle, really), all of us girls went with Cookie and the young pastor's wife (a newlywed @ 20 years old--and so cute) across the street to meet the school officials and teachers, and peek at some of the children. Monday we will be able to spend lots of time there, but today was just formal introductions, etc.

So...more building (Dean's quite a taskmaster)...mostly for me just meant holding a rope...(okay that's all it meant for about 20 out of 25 of us), and taking everyone's pictures for them.

In another lull, Cookie brought up the subject of having some of the women give us cornrows. So...for 3 hours (with a few breaks), Stacey and Carly got theirs done...Cathy's too, but hers didn't take so long.